Massachusetts Divorce Law Monitor : Massachusetts Divorce Lawyer & Attorney : Nancy Van Tine : Burns & Levinson Law Firm : MA Divorce & Family Law : Massachusetts Divorce Law Monitor

Hi there,

I spent last weekend reading Andrew Young's book about John Edwards, The Politician.  It was riveting, not only because of the scandal, but perhaps least because of the scandal.  I am actually scandal weary right now - think Tiger Woods.

The Politician is a morality tale.  Mr. Young is himself a child of divorce.  In his teens, his beloved and morally revered father committed very public adultery.  You can trace in the book how that loss made him vulnerable to John Edwards' narcissism.

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Hi there,

Since I am working on a list of a series of topics to consider when getting divorced, a couple of related posts have popped up that I wanted to share.

The first, from the New Hampshire Divorce blog has to do with how to present yourself in court.  Court is a new experience for most folks and I have found that it helps make it a little less overwhelming if I tell them what to wear, as well as what to expect.

I had a post prior to the holidays which had some good links regarding scheduling assistance for co-parents, and I have just found another one which may also be helpful.

Take care!

Best,

Nancy

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Hi there,

Third in our outline of topics to consider when getting divorced are additional, child related expenses. The child support monies are intended to cover food, shelter and clothing; but as anyone who has raised a child knows, that is only the beginning. Some of these expenses should be shared with the other parent.

Uninsured medical expenses:
According to the child support guidelines, the primary caretaker of the kids pays the first $250 per year for all the kids in combined routine uninsured medical and dental expenses. After that, the parents divide the costs equally. This sounds simple, but it can result in accounting and repayment problems. Be sure to keep all records of bills paid and be sure to submit the bills for timely payment both to the other parent and the insurance company if you need to. Since insurance companies differ wildly in their requirements, as do medical and dental providers, it is best to consider your situation from both aspects and have some language in your agreement that takes care of all forseen possibilities.

Extracurricular activities, and other costs:
These are no longer considered to be part of child support, so it is necessary to have an agreement on what extracurricular activities the kids will have. Other costs can include sports gear, art supplies, etc. that are necessary for the planned activities; it can also cover such things as summers abroad and church trips, the list goes on and on. A good rule of thumb is to try and keep the kids lives as stable as possible, so if you can, at least keep them in their current activities. You should have both a mechanism for agreement on the activities, and also a mechanism for division of payment.

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Hi there,

It seems as if France is going to ban the burqa in hospitals and schools but not on the street.

I have always been horrified by the concept of the burqa - I consider the fact that I was born female in 20th century America to be a stroke of overwhelming good fortune, but apparently burqas are bad for your health as well.  While we're on the subject, the concept of Burqa Barbie also blows my mind.  It seems so wrong on so many levels, when you think of those poor little girls whose future will be life in the "brown bag," so should they really get a doll that celebrates their condition?  No good answer.

Finally, if you did hit the jackpot and were born female in the United States, the times they are a changin' - men now are the ones marrying up.  Of course that means that women now have to pay alimony as well.

Best,

Nancy

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Hi there;

In any support situation, it seems the support is always too much for the person paying, and never enough for the person receiving it.  With child support in Massachusetts, the payments are formulaic.  The Child Support Guidelines were revised a year ago, and here is an update on the revisions.

In most cases if there are children who fall under the guidelines (generally under 18 if not in school and up to age 23 if in college), the parent with whom the kids are living should be receiving at least some support from the other parent even before the parties hit the court system.  The guidelines make it easy to determine the amount, but even with a formula there can be disagreements and the recipient may need to ask the court to intervene.

Commonly, child support is paid on the same calendar as the one used to calculate and receive your pay check.  The calculation is weekly, so if you are going to be paying monthly remember there are 4.3 weeks in a month; consequently, a $100 per week order results in a $430 per month payment.

If possible, it is best to have the support paid either via payroll deduction, or direct deposit.  That way no one needs to remember to do it, or to nag when it doesn't get done.  NEVER, EVER have the payments delivered via the kids (and do NOT, as one person in my experience did, write "Blood money for the Bitch" on the memo line on the check)!

The person who pays child support also pays the taxes on it.  This usually means that in the final agreement, there can be some consideration of this in the allocation of the dependency exemptions.

Best,

Nancy

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Hi there;

Happy Martin Luther King Day.  I have to confess that I don't usually stop to consider MLK day, it just provides a welcome 3 day weekend in the middle of the winter.

But this year, with the horrific situation in Haiti going on, it made me think about the heroism of ordinary people.  The folks in Haiti, without water or food, in 90 degree heat, digging through the rubble with their bare hands for survivors.  The folks from all over the world in rescue units who appear to have dropped everything and gone to help out. 

While Martin Luther King was obviously heroic, he certainly wasn't an ordinary person.  Miep Gies, the woman who hid Anne Frank and her family was ordinary, but she showed extraordinary courage.  She died this week at the age of 100.

Dr. King and Miep Gies were inspirations to many people in their lifetimes.  The actions of ordinary people in Haiti are inspiring, and a fitting tribute to the memories of these two unique heroes.

May things get better in Haiti soon.

Best,

Nancy

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Hi there,

Here is the first topic in the series: Top 10 Topics to Consider When Getting Divorced.

If you have kids who aren't grown up, then this can be the most difficult area to navigate.  You will want to consider all of the topics in A and B below, and you may need to consider the topics in C, D and E as well.

A.  Legal custody, joint vs. sole, what legal custody means; who makes major decisions such as health, religion, education, moral development; and/or emergency decisions?

Most folks end up with joint legal custody, which actually is presumed to be the default format in Massachusetts.  Joint legal custody means that the parents need to communicate, and hopefully agree on the major decisions listed above.  This can be very hard in a high conflict situation, and impossible in a situation involving violence, mental health or substance abuse issues.  In fact, the state is asking people who are getting divorced because they can't communicate, to continue to communicate about their children.

I have the utmost respect for those who manage sometimes after the divorce is done, to step back, take themselves out of the equation and do what is best for the kids.  I have some prior posts about holiday scheduling that may be useful.  Sometimes, parents can't do it themselves and a Parent Coordinator is necessary.

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Hi there,

I have been reading the David Goldman saga for some months now.  As a story, it highlights the problems of international custody cases when one parent takes the children to a foreign country and will not return them.  These cases are very difficult, even if the country in question has signed the Hague convention.  You need an American divorce attorney who understands the convention, contacts at the US State Department; an attorney in the foreign country who does family law and understands the Hague convention and has contacts in the foreign State Department.  It is hellishly expensive.  Furthermore, if the country in question hasn't signed the Hague convention (like most of the Muslim countries) then the result can be tragic.

If you don't know the Goldman story, in 2004 David's then wife took their 4 year old American born son to Brazil for what she told David was a 2 week vacation. Once there she ended the marriage, remarried a Brazilian lawyer and then died in childbirth in 2008.  

David Goldman has been fighting to be reunited with his son for 5 years and the reunion happened on Christmas Eve.  

It should have occurred much, much earlier. There were no allegations of violence or any untoward behavior on David's part.  Jurisdiction for the divorce and thus for the custody, parenting battle should have been in the New Jersey Courts.  

There is an international treaty, The Hague Convention which governs the rights of parents and children in international custody cases in those countries which are signatories to the treaty.

Brazil became a signatory in 2003. But there can be a real disconnect between what should happen legally and what does happen, and that disconnect is always greater in international cases.  Here, Brazil has not been compliant with the terms of the Hague convention. According to the State Department before Sean's return to his father there were 66 American born children in Brazil in defiance of the terms of the treaty.

The political pressure which David Goldman's supporters were able to bring to bear on the Brazilian system is a tribute to the fundamental decency of a lot of people AND the fact that Brazil was vulnerable to the non passage of a treaty which provided billions to them in economic benefits.

I can only wonder what will happen to those 65 other children, now that the treaty is passed?

Lets hope the Brazilian government means what it has said.

Best,

Nancy 

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Hi There,

Happy New Year!  Tax season for 2009 has now begun. Here are 5 simple tax tips about divorce:

1.  Child support is not taxable to the recipient, or to put it more bluntly, she who pays her ex child support also pays the taxes on it.

2.  Alimony is taxable to the recipient, so he who pays child support as alimony or as unallocated support, is saving the taxes; or alternatively, transferring responsibility for them to his ex.

3.  Unless you are in a single-sex marriage, all property transfers between you and your ex as part of your divorce are tax free.  I wrote about this previously here.

4.  If you and your soon-to-be-ex are dividing pensions on divorce (again only if you were not in a single-sex marriage), then there is a way to transfer pensions without any tax consequences.  It is called a qualified domestic relations order or QDRO, and there is a whole niche of the bar who do nothing else.

5. Finally, the IRS has five tips for recently married or divorced taxpayers.

Best,

Nancy

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