Domestic Violence
Hi There,
Along with many folks my age I have been watching the news regarding Chris Brown and Rhianna with a jaded sense of "here we go again, another classic case of domestic violence playing itself out in the media." Then the other night I heard a truly terrifying statistic - a poll of 200 Boston area teens revealed over half of them believed that Rhianna was at fault.
Domestic violence is real and the victims are NOT at fault . Oprah (no guys, I don't watch her someone told me about it) had a good show on this last week.
If you are a victim of domestic violence here are some useful links where you can find help:
- Jane Doe, Inc - The Massachusetts Coalition Against Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence
- Abby's House - Provides help to homeless, battered women with or without children
- National Domestic Violence Hotline - The Hotline is toll-free, confidential and anonymous. 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
- United States Office on Violence Against Women - National hotlines and help for victims
Massachusetts has an excellent violence protection statute too.
May you never need these links,
Best,
Nancy
Step 3: Temporary Orders; the Road Map for the Future
After the defendant has been served or has entered an appearance, one or both parties usually file a motion asking the court for temporary orders. These deal with important issues such as:
• Who has to move out
• Who has physical custody of the kids (where they live)
• Who has legal custody of the kids (who chooses their doctor)
• Visitation issues (parenting plan)
• Spousal support and/or child support
• Other financial issues such as who pays the mortgage, medicals bills, tuition, etc.
Obviously, these are all compelling and important issues which differ widely from family to family. If the issues can be resolved between the parties, or the parties and their lawyers, then their agreement can be brought to court in the form of a joint stipulation which the judge will (usually) approve and adopt as a court order. The judge will send the parties to Family Service to mediate unresolved issues. Issues remaining after mediation will be decided by the Judge after hearing from both sides.
Before going to Court your attorney should help you prepare a financial statement (there are two - for those with income over $75k and for those with income under $75k.) It is one of the most important documents you will file. It MUST be accurate and it should explain any financial matters that require explanation.
Do not underestimate the importance of temporary orders. They can become a baseline for the final outcome. Also, financial and family pressure from an unfavorable order can place a litigant at a serious tactical disadvantage.
Step 2: Don't change things
If you happen to be shopping around
Step 1: The Complaint for Divorce, an Aptly Named Document
Hi there,
For most divorcing couples the legal process begins with filing what is called the complaint. This is a form (PDF) which sets out the basic information the Court and the other side need. In addition to the obvious, it asks where you last lived together as this tells the court whether or not you have filed in the right county and whether Massachusetts has jurisdiction.
It lists the children, asks if anyone has filed previously and also asks what are the grounds for divorce. Massachusetts is a "no fault" state, we call it "irretrievable breakdown." In practical terms this means that either a person can get a divorce without the assent of the other party and without having to prove the other party at fault. Which brings me to the fault grounds. We have a lot of choices; irretrievable breakdown (two kinds, with an agreement and without one) and fault grounds:
• Adultery
• Cruel and abusive treatment
• Utter desertion continued for one year
• Sentence of confinement in a penal institution
• Gross and confirmed habits of intoxication caused by voluntary and excessive use of intoxicating liquor, opium or other drugs
• Gross or wanton and cruel refusal or neglect to provide suitable support and maintenance
• Impotency
I've been practicing 30 years and I've seen a lot of cases where adultery has occurred, this obviously has hurt the non cheating spouse BUT I've only used adultery as the grounds a few times, generally when the client had to declare those grounds in order to comply with certain religious requirements. The reason for this restraint is that Judges tend to frown on using the more dramatic grounds because the complaint is a public document, easily accessible and potentially in the future could be viewed by children, employers etc. As more and more counties get the dockets online this reason has become even more compelling. This doesn't mean that you ignore bad behavior, conduct is one of the areas a Judge must consider if he or she is trying the case, it just means that you cover all types of bad behavior by filing for cruel and abusive treatment. Everyone knows that cheating on your spouse is cruel. Right?