Mediation

Hi there,
 
In my last post I mentioned the Family Service Office of the Probate Court.  That is the department which is tasked with getting litigants to settle their cases. Most cases do settle, which is a good thing as the system would otherwise be totally overwhelmed. It is also a good thing for the parties, as an agreement in which you have had some say is generally better than one which is imposed on you. 
 
Even if it is costly to get there, an agreement is less expensive than trying your case and it has a better chance of being final as well.  One of the best ways in terms of cost and civility to reach an agreement is through mediation.  This is what the Family Service Officers do and here is a good explanation of non Court mandated mediation from Partner Robin Lynch Nardone who has extensive experience in family law mediation:
 
Resolution of a divorce or other family law matter without extensive litigation in the court is possible. Mediation is a voluntary process that invites people to come to agreement through informed negotiation with the assistance of a neutral third party. Mediation gives the parties the opportunity to discuss the issues between them (be it division of property, custody of children, alimony, child support or any number of other family law matters), clear up misunderstandings, determine their underlying interests or concerns, find areas of agreement and, ultimately, to reduce their agreement to a written settlement document. Mediation is particularly useful in the divorce and family law arena, as it provides spouses with control at a time when their lives might otherwise feel out of control. Parties come together to make decisions that impact significantly on themselves and their children, rather than leaving the decision making to a judge who sees hundreds of litigants every week and is likely to make decisions in a cookie-cutter fashion. It is often said that people are more likely to comply with the terms of a negotiated settlement than with a judgment imposed on them by a Judge. Further, when there are children involved, it is the parents who have raised those children who are in the best position to determine the parenting schedule that will suit the personalities and needs of the children going forward. Ending a marriage or making changes after a divorce can be difficult, but a war need not be waged in the courthouse, when honesty and cooperation is all that mediation requires.
 
 
Best,
Nancy

Domestic Violence

Hi There,

Along with many folks my age I have been watching the news regarding Chris Brown and Rhianna with a jaded sense of "here we go again, another classic case of domestic violence playing itself out in the media."  Then the other night I heard a truly terrifying statistic - a poll of 200 Boston area teens revealed over half of them believed that Rhianna was at fault.

Domestic violence is real and the victims are NOT at fault . Oprah (no guys, I don't watch her someone told me about it) had a good show on this last week. 

If you are a victim of domestic violence here are some useful links where you can find help:

Massachusetts has an excellent violence protection statute too.

May you never need these links,

Best,

Nancy

Step 3: Temporary Orders; the Road Map for the Future

After the defendant has been served or has entered an appearance, one or both parties usually file a motion asking the court for temporary orders. These deal with important issues such as:
• Who has to move out
• Who has physical custody of the kids (where they live)
• Who has legal custody of the kids (who chooses their doctor)
• Visitation issues (parenting plan)
• Spousal support and/or child support
• Other financial issues such as who pays the mortgage, medicals bills, tuition, etc.
Obviously, these are all compelling and important issues which differ widely from family to family. If the issues can be resolved between the parties, or the parties and their lawyers, then their agreement can be brought to court in the form of a joint stipulation which the judge will (usually) approve and adopt as a court order. The judge will send the parties to Family Service to mediate unresolved issues. Issues remaining after mediation will be decided by the Judge after hearing from both sides.
Before going to Court your attorney should help you prepare a financial statement (there are two - for those with income over $75k and for those with income under $75k.)  It is one of the most important documents you will file. It MUST be accurate and it should explain any financial matters that require explanation.
Do not underestimate the importance of temporary orders. They can become a baseline for the final outcome. Also, financial and family pressure from an unfavorable order can place a litigant at a serious tactical disadvantage.

Step 2: Don't change things

Hi there,
 
When the complaint for divorce is filed the automatic restraining order on assets immediately applies to the filing party and as soon as the other side is served with the complaint the restraining order likewise then applies to him or her.
 
The purpose behind this is to maintain the status quo so people won't hide or spend beyond what is normally reasonable. It is not intended to prevent someone who has been managing the couple's finances from continuing to trade in the ordinary way and thus hopefully to protect assets. AND...because most legislators are lawyers and lawyers can be counted on to take care of themselves, it allows both parties to spend marital assets (and at this point and throughout the divorce ALL assets are considered marital assets) on divorce attorneys.
It also keeps the family's insurance provisions in place.
 
In my experience Judges take violations of this very seriously, so be very mindful of the restraining order throughout the divorce process.
 
Nancy

If you happen to be shopping around

Hi There,
 
I do a lot of cross jurisdictional, international divorces. I just came across (I am behind in my reading) a very useful article in The Economist that really could help someone trying to decide where to bring an action. 
If you need it I hope it is helpful.
 
stay warm,
 
Nancy
 

Step 1: The Complaint for Divorce, an Aptly Named Document

Hi there,

For most divorcing couples the legal process begins with filing what is called the complaint. This is a form (PDF) which sets out the basic information the Court and the other side need. In addition to the obvious, it asks where you last lived together as this tells the court whether or not you have filed in the right county and whether Massachusetts has jurisdiction.

It lists the children, asks if anyone has filed previously and also asks what are the grounds for divorce. Massachusetts is a "no fault" state, we call it "irretrievable breakdown." In practical terms this means that either a person can get a divorce without the assent of the other party and without having to prove the other party at fault. Which brings me to the fault grounds. We have a lot of choices; irretrievable breakdown (two kinds, with an agreement and without one) and fault grounds:
• Adultery
• Cruel and abusive treatment
• Utter desertion continued for one year
• Sentence of confinement in a penal institution
• Gross and confirmed habits of intoxication caused by voluntary and excessive use of intoxicating liquor, opium or other drugs
• Gross or wanton and cruel refusal or neglect to provide suitable support and maintenance
• Impotency

I've been practicing 30 years and I've seen a lot of cases where adultery has occurred, this obviously has hurt the non cheating spouse BUT I've only used adultery as the grounds a few times, generally when the client had to declare those grounds in order to comply with certain religious requirements. The reason for this restraint is that Judges tend to frown on using the more dramatic grounds because the complaint is a public document, easily accessible and potentially in the future could be viewed by children, employers etc. As more and more counties get the dockets online this reason has become even more compelling. This doesn't mean that you ignore bad behavior, conduct is one of the areas a Judge must consider if he or she is trying the case, it just means that you cover all types of bad behavior by filing for cruel and abusive treatment. Everyone knows that cheating on your spouse is cruel. Right?

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