Massachusetts Divorce Law Monitor : Boston, MA Divorce & Family Law Lawyer & Attorney : Nancy Van Tine : Burns & Levinson Law Firm

Hi there,

One of my clients sent me an excerpt from a book, "The Sociopath Next Door" by Martha Stout which describes almost perfectly, the client's ex husband's character and behavior.

DSMIV (the Diagnostoic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV) defines sociopathy as:

Diagnostic criteria for 301.7 Antisocial Personality Disorder
A. There is a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others occurring since age 15 years, as indicated by three (or more) of the following:

(1) failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors
as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest.

(2) deceitful, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure

(3) impulsivity or failure to plan ahead

(4) irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults

(5) reckless disregard for safety of self or others

(6) consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations

(7) lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt,
mistreated, or stolen from another

B. The individual is at least age 18 years.

C. There is evidence of Conduct Disorder with onsets before age 15 years.

D. The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of
Schizophrenia or a Manic Episode.

Apparently this diagnosis may change when the new manual comes out, but the gist remains the same.

I was stunned to read in Stout's book that the disorder is now thought to exist in around 4% of the population. This is a huge incidence. It means we all know someone who is a sociopath. When I actively thought about it I realized that I have come across many of them in my career . Their cases often end up being litigated, no doubt as a result of their psychopathy.  Sometimes a trial is the only way to get the reality of what has gone on before the court as sociopaths tend to lie consistently. Unfortunately  the perils of litigation are necessary when faced with an opponent with no conscience.

I have been listening to the reports of Amy Bishop and wondered if she isn't a sociopath too.
 

Best,

Nancy

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Hi there!

In almost every divorce case involving children the parents worry about how to tell the kids.  Here is a very good road map on the do's and dont's of informing your children about your pending divorce. 

Not so critical, but also important, is just how to divide your personal property with your soon-to-be-ex.  Here is a good outline of the various methods you might chose to use if you cant agree.

And still in the news, I have to admit  I was nastily pleased to read the Texas Attorney General filed too late to stop a gay couple who married in Massachusetts from getting divorced in Texas.  What happened to full faith and credit?

Best,

Nancy

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Hi there,

Fourth in our topics to discuss is alimony.  In addition to everything else you need to think of, another important consideration when getting divorced is alimony.

You first need to decide if your case is an alimony case.  You can do that by answering these questions:

• Does one of you earn substantially more than the other? 
• Are there economic needs of one party that are not being met by her income?

Alimony is determined based on the needs of one party for support and the ability of the other to pay.

The reverse of child support; alimony reduces the payor's taxable income and is taxable to the recipient.

If you have children, the child support guidelines will apply to the first $250,000 of income, however, you can agree to allocate the support payment between alimony and child support to get the maximum tax benefit for the family unit.

Alimony currently is a very contentious area of divorce law.  There is a task force on revisions to the alimony law pending and there has been a great deal of public discussion surrounding that.

When deciding, you should also consider:

• Timing of payments
• When and why there can be increases
• If there is bonus income involved how alimony can or should be paid from the bonus, it is usual and I think, sensible, to set a percentage for alimony to be paid from the bonus on an 'if and when received' basis.
• Reductions and termination.

One of the real problems with alimony is that the Courts still lack the power to set an end date although there is legislation pending to give them that authority.

Best,

Nancy

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Hi there,

It is hard for me to believe today is the first anniversary of this blog. In some ways, it feels like I have always been doing it.

I have learned so much, not only about the technology but about the web, social networking and the INCREDIBLE amount of information you can access online if you know where (and how!) to look.

This year has been terrific and fun, and I could never have done it with out the help of of my terrific partners in crime, Anna DeLeo and Scott Katz.  Thank you guys!

There are a lot of posts that I think have stood the test of time quite well and some that have just been for fun.

Here are my personal favorites:

• The Divorce Process in 10 Not So Easy Steps: A Compilation
• Readers Choice: Narcissistic Partners
• Holidays Are For Kids

Hope you've enjoyed reading the blog as much as I've enjoyed writing it!  Here's to another year!

Best,

Nancy

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Hi there,

I have so much respect for the men and women who serve in the military, especially now, when we are involved in 2 wars. We all think of the obvious risks they run going to war.  Those who are parents run another risk that hasn't gotten much publicity.

On another note, violence by children is a family law problem all practitioners see occasionally. It is a very sad situation and also as this article shows, a true Catch 22.

Since this is Monday Miscellany, after all, I have been saving this article. I have actually had cases where there has been some concern about the cost of plastic surgery, I have not ever taken the issue to a judge though.

And in the totally random category, who knew - I certainly didn't - that Scott Brown was a divorce lawyer. 

Best,
Nancy

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Hi there,

I spent last weekend reading Andrew Young's book about John Edwards, The Politician.  It was riveting, not only because of the scandal, but perhaps least because of the scandal.  I am actually scandal weary right now - think Tiger Woods.

The Politician is a morality tale.  Mr. Young is himself a child of divorce.  In his teens, his beloved and morally revered father committed very public adultery.  You can trace in the book how that loss made him vulnerable to John Edwards' narcissism.

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Hi there,

Since I am working on a list of a series of topics to consider when getting divorced, a couple of related posts have popped up that I wanted to share.

The first, from the New Hampshire Divorce blog has to do with how to present yourself in court.  Court is a new experience for most folks and I have found that it helps make it a little less overwhelming if I tell them what to wear, as well as what to expect.

I had a post prior to the holidays which had some good links regarding scheduling assistance for co-parents, and I have just found another one which may also be helpful.

Take care!

Best,

Nancy

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