Massachusetts Divorce Law Monitor : Boston, MA Divorce & Family Law Lawyer & Attorney : Nancy Van Tine : Burns & Levinson Law Firm

Hi there,

Maybe because I took a week off from blogging (real work intervened), but I seem to have a series of odd articles that I would like to share.

There has been a lot of interesting sociological commentary about divorce possibly being "contagious" lately.  Some of it may be linked to the Gore separation, which gets odder and tackier by the moment.

I do a lot of work representing the children of my contemporaries, so I know how heart-wrenching it is for them to experience their children getting divorced.  There is a terrific post in the Ohio Family Law Blog about how to handle an adult child's divorce.

I was in the Plymouth Probate and Family Court yesterday, a very hot day, and I was stunned to see the clothing (or lack thereof) that litigants seemed to feel was appropriate court attire.  Appearances count, dress respectfully, the judge has to.  Witness the nastiness that judicial nominees have to endure.

And finally, because I just couldn't resist, a wonderful piece about how dirt is good for you. 

Best,

Nancy

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Hi there,

This week my husband and I celebrate our 45th wedding anniversary; despite that (or perhaps because of it),  I wasn't surprised to hear of the Gore's separation after 40 years.  Their separation resounded across the blogosphere last week.  For all the speculation, it will be impossible to know what went wrong, unless a third party materializes.  The reality is that anyone in a marriage that is under press scrutiny will present a carefully crafted public picture, which may not reflect reality at all. Remember the Edwards debacle?

There was a very interesting statistical analysis of this by Betsey Stevenson, on the NY Times' Freakonomics blog.  Essentially, the most divorce-prone generation are those who married in the 1970's (whew, I missed it by 4 years).  I wonder if this is the result of the Woodstock years or yet another byproduct of feminism?

More intriguing perhaps, is the timing of the Gore's daughter's separation.  This ties into the concept that divorce is catching.  If you hang out with folks whose marriage is unhappy I think that translates into being more focused on what is wrong with your marriage; if you hang out with folks who are content with their partners, the good stuff resonates, and you think more about what is great about your spouse. 

Best,

Nancy

**UPDATE:  Perhaps not at all what we were led to believe?!  A third party may have just materialized after all!

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Hi there,

In most divorce agreements there are a number of standard provisions (often called "boilerplate").

The most important of these provisions are:

1. The ability of the parties to have separate wills - this covers the right of both parties to exclude the other from their estate plans

2. Waiver of future claims - this generally says that except as written in the agreement neither party has any claim against the other.

3. Personal freedom to live your own life - this is not a restraining order but it is put into all agreements.  I think it may stem back to the days when women were treated like property and needed a recitation of their ability to live on their own.

4. Completeness of this agreement - this basically says the agreement is the agreement and side deals do NOT count; so, if your soon-to-be-ex promises you something, but says he won't put it in the agreement and to just "trust me" - don't.

Then there should be a provision about how to handle future disputes.  Are you going to require trying to mediate first?  Or are you going to simply say that the court is where future problems are worked out.  Maybe you have a parenting coordinator or an arbitrator to divide personal property.

If you wish, this is the point where you can resume your maiden name.

And finally the magic words: "status of the agreement"

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