Massachusetts Divorce Law Monitor : Boston, MA Divorce & Family Law Lawyer & Attorney : Nancy Van Tine : Burns & Levinson Law Firm

Hi there,

I hope you all had as nice an Easter as I did, although looking at this rainy Thursday, it seems too long ago.

Once upon a time, (a long, long time ago) I represented a woman who was convinced that her ex was hiding mega millions of dollars, both from her and from the government.  She was a very bright, very organized and very driven woman, and lo and behold she was right!  Imagine my surprise to see her on a TV program on expensive divorces.

On another note, I have written a number of times about the need to be wary of social media when you are divorcing.  Put nothing on the web that you don't care to have your spouse show the judge!  A New Jersey belly dancer didn't post her pictures (because she was afraid of the blow back), but her words sufficed.

And finally, I simply could not miss an opportunity to comment on this latest Royal Wedding.  I remember getting up at the crack of dawn to watch Princess Diana get married, in what was probably the ugliest wedding gown ever.  I have no intention of getting up tomorrow to watch soon- to-be Princess Catherine, but I have been wondering if they have a prenuptial agreement.  I would hope so given the family track record.

Best,

Nancy

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Hi there,

Alcohol addiction causes a lot of divorces, and many ongoing problems during the divorce itself.  These divorces are often the saddest, because the family as a whole generally suffers more due to the dysfunction that has become normal before the non-addicted partner finally has had enough.  I've also noticed that occasionally, but not rarely, the divorce occurs AFTER the addicted partner has become sober.  I have theorized that the new sobriety has shifted the control issues in the marriage and one or the other is unwilling to continue in the new paradigm.

In terms of the divorce itself, one partner's active alcoholism can make the dissolution of the marriage far more destructive than it needs to be.  Parenting issues, discovery delays and just plain reactive nastiness can increase the financial and emotional costs.

I tell all my clients to see a therapist as they undertake the divorce process.  If you are dealing with an alcoholic you should try to see a therapist who has good credentials in handling patients with substance abuse issues, as that knowledge will help you understand and survive the difficult days to come.

Best,

Nancy

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Hi there,

Something to consider if you are a woman contemplating divorce (and isn't it interesting that only women change their names?) is whether or not you wish to resume your maiden name, (and a maiden name is another medieval concept) not that I am a feminist or anything.

An associate of mine, Andrea Dunbar, has written a very useful piece about just how to do this, and even more useful - where to go to actually change all the documents.  Check it out below!

Have a great weekend!

Best,

Nancy

While no longer legally obligated to do so, many people take their spouse’s last name upon marriage.  After divorce, this can be a life long, painful reminder of the marriage.  This is why it is important to understand your rights and obligations for changing your name during or after a divorce.  The simplest way to change your name upon divorce is to start the process during the divorce proceedings and plead it in your divorce complaint.  The standard Massachusetts divorce complaint provides a space to request this relief from the Court.  When the Court issues the divorce judgment it will make an order that the complainant spouse be entitled to resume a former name.  Similar to a name change decree (discussed more fully below), this document can be used as legal proof of a name change. 

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Hi there,

As you know, if you read this blog, I had promised a set of posts on what constitutes good reasons to opt for the very expensive route of having your divorce resolved by a judge after a trial, rather than controlling the outcome by settlement. (I happen to be a control freak who loves trying cases so I have a slightly schizophrenic view of this.)

A lot of trials happen because of valuation issues.  When one or the other of you has an ownership interest in a closely held company, a significant professional practice, or in major investment real estate, those items have to be valued before you and your soon to be ex can reach agreement on the division of assets, and sometimes before the support can be finally set.  This is an expensive process to start, as valuation experts do not come cheap.  The cost can run in the tens of thousands of dollars, particularly when the business is complex. 

Generally speaking I do not often agree on utilizing a joint expert, I find that if one side disagrees after the joint expert has given her opinion of value,  you have a guaranteed  trial. If both of you have valuation experts and if the experts are able to talk and hear each other out, often the differences in value can be compromised. But if the difference in values is huge, and that happens fairly often, then the amount of money at stake will generally drive the matter to trial.

In the end, the choice of whether or not to go to trial over valuation differences is an economic decision, the cost of trial and the uncertainty of outcome balanced against the differential between the values.

Best,

Nancy

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