Massachusetts Divorce Law Monitor : Massachusetts Divorce Lawyer & Attorney : Nancy Van Tine : Burns & Levinson Law Firm : MA Divorce & Family Law : Massachusetts Divorce Law Monitor

Hi there,

I heard the tapes of Mel Gibson calling his ex-girlfriend this week on a newscast.  If indeed they are real, they were horrifying and to me they sounded like someone suffering from some form of  untreated mental illness.

I have posted about narcissism and sociopaths, but not yet discussed the other mental illnesses which are most frequently seen in divorce cases; addictions, bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder. No divorce lawyer should be without her copy of "DSM-IV" (aka Diagnostic And Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition), the Bible of the American Psychiatric Association.

Nor have I discussed parental alienation syndrome (which is not yet in the DSM-IV), which I believe occurs as a result of some sort of underlying disorder on the part of the alienator, which precludes him/her from seeing the damage caused to the kids.

Bipolar Disorder, once diagnosed, is one of the most easily treatable mental illnesses; however, many patients will be reluctant to seek help, may often self-medicate with alcohol, and when diagnosed can often be non-compliant with their medication.  As a result, many of their marriages fall apart.  Mental illness is just that, an illness, and is handled by the court as a condition requiring help and support.  It can add to the needs of the recipient spouse in an alimony situation, and is often an issue raised in custody cases.  If the parent who suffers from the illness has a history of non-compliance with medication, this can be a serious factor in determining access to children.

After the fight over whether or not the Gibson tapes were tampered with, the custody battle may well shift to Mr. Gibson's mental status.

Best,

Nancy

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Hi there,

I received a comment from a reader about the recent article on sociopaths:

"Well, great, but how do we USE this knowledge to gain leverage or actually get the creep to respond?"

This really expresses succinctly, the frustration anyone would feel, dealing with a sociopath in an inherently conflicted situation.

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Hi there,

One of my clients sent me an excerpt from a book, "The Sociopath Next Door" by Martha Stout which describes almost perfectly, the client's ex husband's character and behavior.

DSMIV (the Diagnostoic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV) defines sociopathy as:

Diagnostic criteria for 301.7 Antisocial Personality Disorder
A. There is a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others occurring since age 15 years, as indicated by three (or more) of the following:

(1) failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors
as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest.

(2) deceitful, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure

(3) impulsivity or failure to plan ahead

(4) irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults

(5) reckless disregard for safety of self or others

(6) consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations

(7) lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt,
mistreated, or stolen from another

B. The individual is at least age 18 years.

C. There is evidence of Conduct Disorder with onsets before age 15 years.

D. The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of
Schizophrenia or a Manic Episode.

Apparently this diagnosis may change when the new manual comes out, but the gist remains the same.

I was stunned to read in Stout's book that the disorder is now thought to exist in around 4% of the population. This is a huge incidence. It means we all know someone who is a sociopath. When I actively thought about it I realized that I have come across many of them in my career . Their cases often end up being litigated, no doubt as a result of their psychopathy.  Sometimes a trial is the only way to get the reality of what has gone on before the court as sociopaths tend to lie consistently. Unfortunately  the perils of litigation are necessary when faced with an opponent with no conscience.

I have been listening to the reports of Amy Bishop and wondered if she isn't a sociopath too.
 

Best,

Nancy

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Hi there!

I recently received a question from a reader regarding narcissism and narcissistic partners.  I initially intended to reply to her privately, but as I thought about my response, I realized that there was enough "meat" here to share in a post to all.

Reader asks:

"Christie Brinkley seems to have been in the news a bit lately with her divorce. I have been struck by her comments on a narcissistic partner, and wonder since I think that is the case with my ex, how often it is that one spouse is a narcissist and what can be done to get through to one rationally. Is there any hope of co-parenting with a narcissist?  Any thoughts or comments on this celeb. case would be helpful. Thanks!"

My response:

Narcissists are very nasty people but charming too.  A lot of them end up in divorce because no one can worship them enough, and all the air is theirs, not their spouse's. 

No divorce lawyer should be without her copy of "DSM-IV" (aka Diagnostic And Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition).  According to this "bible", written by the American Psychiatric Association, the diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder is as follows:

"A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance

2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high status people (or institutions)

4) requires excessive admiration

5) has a sense of entitlement

6) is interpersonally exploitative

7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes"

The DSM-IV goes on to indicate that narcissistic personality disorder is relatively rare ( "from 2%-16% in the clinical population and less than 1% in the general population" per DSM-IV).  I am sure lots of just plain selfish, non-empathetic people get classified as narcissistic, but it doesn't make them any easier to deal with in a co-parenting situation.  I think you are going to have to realize that only you will put your kids first.  I don't know if your divorce is over, nor do I know what the actual issues are; but I have found parental coordinators very useful, particularly when one parent is excessively difficult.

Additionally, here is the recent news on Christie Brinkley that sparked this interesting question.  

Best,

Nancy

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